This is so important yet it has so few notes
When you’re at a friend’s house and they have a dog
When I met and shook hands with President Obama on Friday I introduced myself and said, “my name is Spencer Griffin and I work at collegehumor.com.” He said, “okay, so are you funny?” and I said confidently, “yeah, I’m funny.” And he said, “tell me something funny.” And I blanked. He laughed and said, “yeah, that’s what I thought.” I got roasted by the President of the United States.
my lil buddy is keepin me company
y’all getting really specific like “where are all the indie boys with messy shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes who are between 6’ and 6’4 whose favourite vampire weekend album is contra but knows mvotc is their best album and drinks their coffee black with 3.2 sugars and smokes cheap cigarettes on a balcony at 2:23 am” like….. chill
A strong independent dog who don’t need no man
I am my own best friend, dammit.
drunk and (not) In love
things your friends will say if you’ve made a good pun:
- get out
- fuck you
- shut the fuck up
- oh my god why
- you need to stop
- you’re not funny
- that was terrible
- are you proud of that
“I was born in the wrong generation!” I scream as I churn my own butter and marry my cousin
this is fucking hilarious
- dude: sex workers are gross. you all have no respect for yourselves. sluts.
- dude: *watches porn.*
- dude: *reblogs porn gifs*
- dude: *runs an entire blog dedicated to photos of naked women and porn gifs*